rainy days

its been rather rainy here in the twin cities. with the rain comes a mood of restlessness. maybe its not the rain that brings this mood but rather the hours of free time i have to fill daily. this situation always makes me laugh. those times in life when a spare minute is not to be found, we dream of these days. days of reading books, watching movies, available to do whatever whenever (except internet or tv - because we have neither). this very day, this very month, i am one of those people. in great efforts to make the most of it, the first few weeks flew by. now i feel that i am stuck. stuck in a pit of mud with no way to get out. i am stuck so far in that my motivation to get out it diminishing. instead the mud is sinking into my shoes, between my toes, and long with it come self pity and daily wallowing.

*i do know that wallowing is most likely not a word, i decided to use it anyway

one an upper note: i got flowers the other day. wow, i have the best boyfriend in the entire world. and for a little comic relief, i accidently put my ipod in Japanese...and its stuck...and i can't read/speak Japanese :)

the latest internet cafe

since moving to the Twin Cities, we have yet to purchase our own internet. we have been "sharing" with whoever is generous enough to not lock their internet account. thus, i am sitting in my car in the Caribou Coffee parking lot watching the latest Office episode. thank goodness the great state of Minnesota has reached the high temperature of 48 degrees already today!

quiet times

These past couples weeks I have been reading my Bible, not because I have to but because I have wanted to. It has been so refreshing! After months, over a year now of trying to read out of obedience and discipline, how nice it is to find joy in doing this rather than frustration. Thank you Lord for this treasure.

coffee shop bathrooms

i love love love coffeeshops...but the bathrooms can be the worst.

must the the unlimited coffee/bran muffin combo - yikes!

the fall

I love fall. Please let me tell you why:

Its raining cats and dogs outside. I know this isn't a usual fall trait, but rather a spring one. Either way I love it.

Its cooling off. Though I am not a huge fan of the cold weather...it is a great excuse for warm drinks! I am Caribou Coffee this morning (trying to un-destract myself from the loud obnoxious employees - how is it that I can't even get a job here?!) looking forward to a caramel latte.

The runs of this week have been filled with views of some of the most beautiful trees and sounds of crunching with every step.

The holidays are approaching! Not only will Santa be coming (JK!) but I cannot wait for the atmosphere that November and December bring. The coziness of time together with loved ones.

Everyday that passes, I experience another reason why I want a job. Great motivation for applying :)

That is it. Those are the reasons that I love fall this morning!

runaway

today i want to run away, change my name, maybe grab one special someone to take with me

last one, i swear

I didn't have internet this morning so this is being copied and posted.

This morning I have yet another experience to share. I fell asleep at 10:30 last night after barely starting the movie "Taken." I woke up in the mood for a movie with nothing to eat. The only cereal option: Puffs. Gross. No bread, no normal oatmeal, had eggs yesterday, too lazy to make pancakes.

Apple pie with homemade ice cream? I'm in. On the couch in my pajamas? Check. Just did it, awesome and delicious.

morning three

As I grabbed my computer this morning I realize I have started a trend. I promise it won't go on forever but here I am on morning number three. This morning I have tidied up the house, done a load of laundry, walked to the local coffee shop to use my full punch card, and freshened up in the bathroom.

Yesterday my bf joined me at the lake, he got here around midnight last night...that is a LONG time to wait! This morning I promised I would let him sleep in. Of course after I exhausted the long list of things to do mentioned above I couldn't wait any longer.

I have now come into his room for a good morning kiss. I propped up a pillow and whipped out a book and computer. He has rolled over and is out like a log while I sit on his bed next to him writing in my blog. Good quality time. At least we are both happy; I get to hang out with my boyfriend and he gets to catch up on some sleep. Love it.

the lake

The lake. Just this past week I realized how I refer to "the lake" in everyday conversation, assuming that everyone else in the world knows that "the lake" is referring to my parent's house on Clear Lake.

I am here today, again sipping some steamy black coffee and am experiencing a view. There are no waves crashing against the shore this morning, just a lake of glass and a stillness that I have not experienced since my early days in California.

The lake is one of my favorite places on earth. There are times when the walls are bursting with people, all four of our water-mobiles are so full they are practically sinking, and not a place in one of our 30 outdoor chairs can be found. The lake has hosted uncountable reunions, celebrations, and get-togethers over the years. More memories have been made here than any other home that I've had.

Eventually the masses go home and we are left. Usually my mom, do put the house back together and sometimes a few more of us to help. Then on some rare occasions its just me. Me and the lake. I feel like I am sitting in the eye of a storm, taking in a stillness and beauty while everything else continues to rush around me.

school street

It has been a while since I have written anything but more things have going on than I could possibly catch up on. Lets just say i am now living in St Paul after some world travels.

We have a screened in porch facing street side to our adorable little street. This morning as I "job search" I listen to kids run south towards school. Their ungraceful backpack-run reminds me of my childhood, running down School Street to avoid another tardy.

This morning I feel a little envious of these kids. I can faintly recall what it feels like to not have a care in the world. These kids don't even have to pick out their own clothes as they all match in their uniforms. I am not complaining, it was only a few months ago I got to re-experience this life in sunny California...but now its back to the present. The present where insane bills come out of nowhere, where every reliance on a company later requires a phone call to fix things, where cars break down and where I have to buy my own food and bedding.

Yesterday marked a near mental breakdown but now its over. I can so do this. I have done it before. And as my mother always says, "Somehow you always manage to get by." Thanks Mom, today that is exactly what I needed to hear.

job hunt

I stopped hunting for a job today. Not because I have found the perfect job but because today I decided some things that I want in a job.

-I want to love it
-Make a difference, have an effect
-No 8-5 in a building
-Include some travel
-Pretty unstructured, student-style

Today more than ever I wish I am talented in the arts. Maybe a beautiful writer, a gifted musical artist, a spectacular photographer, or a natural creative designer. I am none of these things. My hobbies/passions include running, reading, traveling, quality time with others, adventures, and exploring. Is it too much to ask that I find a job including some of these things that I love?

It may be impossible but I'm not ready to give up yet. This may mean picking up 3 part time jobs when I make the move to Minneapolis but to me, its worth it.

sleepless nights

It is another sleepless night. I've checked and replied to all emails, thoroughly stalked everyone and their mom on facebook, gave out birthday notes through the rest of the week, read up on all my Google Reader articles, done hundreds of crunches...and the list could go on. I am officially tired of reading my book, tired of being on my computer, and tired of watching tv...but sleep won't come. It is 3:15AM in Iowa, a little late for a phone call. After running/jogging/walking 15 miles today, walking another few, and studying more than I have done in over a year you think I would be ready for bed. What to do, what to do.


This is my nightly routine about3-5 nights/week. What is going on?!

tamed

"maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them"

last weekend i gave myself another self-guided tour to another city i have never been to: San Diego. it was beautiful and i had the time of my life!

somewhere between the asking strangers to take my pictures, discussing directions and things to see with the locals, and sprinting to catch my Amtrak...i decided i wouldnt trade it for anything. hitting the roadmark age of 22 has had me thinking about marriage, a full-time "real" job, and even having kids. my first thoughts are "i am not ready" but after spending a lot of time toiling the ideas around, i think that i may never be. dont get me wrong, i want to share life with someone and have my own offspring to invest my life into - but i dont want to be expected to have dinner ready at 7 for a family of 6 every night. and i wont stay put in my mediocre suburb with one 8 day vacation once a year.

i know that things dont have to be this way. i know in my life they definitely wont. but part of me is scared it will happen. one day i will look at the past 364 days of the year and realize the stencil i have fallen into. for some reason it feels good to vocalize my intent to never let this happen.

running ethics

I set out today for an 18 mile run, part of my marathon training schedule, by mile 6 I had decided I no longer wanted to do a marathon (of course I am back to contemplating now) and decided to celebrate by skipping out on the 18 miles and exploring some new trails! The Recreational Trail sounded promising, so I took the rolling hills for a while.

After about 2 miles of running over the peaks of the several foothills surrounding the Oak Park community, the sun began to set behind the hills, my environmental alarm clock. I take the next route down I can find and begin the feel the exhaustion from the hills and the heat. Just as thoughts of cool water and refreshing fruit fill my thoughts I spot a water bottle and red Gatorade bottle standing hand-in-hand on a wood post marking the trail. Droplets of condensation fall down the slick sides of the bottles taunting me. My feet come to a hault and I stand looking around, then at the bottles. Is this right? No, its not. After exciting the trail I take a left following my sense of direction. Of course this is always a mistake because I have none, so I manage a run a long mile in the wrong direction and have to stop and ask directions.

By the time I reach my landmark of the appetizing refreshments my watch has alerted me that I have run 10 miles, reminding me of my dehydration and NEED for a drink. Instinctively I run past the bottle but don't make it 10 feet before I turn around. Glancing from side to side I make sure that no one is watching and I go for the Gatorade. It takes about 10 seconds to gulp over a third of it down. After quickly replacing the lid, with a big smile on my face and red dyed lips, I continue on.

Its less than a mile before I manage to get attacked by a tree limb, leaving a trickle of blood down my leg. I look down and the red reminds me of the red Gatorade - natures retaliation.

Running Ethical Dilemmas:
1. Is it ethically wrong to sign up for a marathon then sell your registration on Craig's List? No?
2. Is it ethically wrong to drink another runner/hikers rehydration beverage? Probably
3. Is it ethically wrong for trees to grow long, pointy, random limbs out into the sidewalks? Yes

No worries. My run ended up lasting 14.80 miles long...I had plenty of time to contemplate the Gatorade move and I still don't feel the slightest tinge of guilt.

energy beans cont.

Update/Experiment Results: After 10 minutes of nausea, the beans work!

home

Michael Buble's rendition of HOME has been on repeat for the past hour or so, its just been one of those days. The last time I heard this song WAY TOO MANY times in a short period of time was during my trip to Europe. Of course at that time my home was in Iowa City with my best friends, my Cliff Apartments home, and my boyfriend. Now, I don't even know what I should be picturing, desiring, or missing. It couldn't possibly be my parents house in Gilbert where I have spent less than 10 nights in the past 3 years. Maybe its the apartment I have yet to see and would need some pretty specific directions to find that I am currently paying rent for in Saint Paul? Not yet. Completely everything of mine has been moved off of Welch Ave in Ames where I resided over 3.5 months ago now. Of course LA has felt like home for the past several weeks but after moving half my things back to the midwest my closet/room/household belongings consist of less than a suitcase full. That plus the move-out date creeping closer and closer has me wondering.

I guess for now I will continue listening to this painfully depressing song, probably have a beer, and ponder.

instant energy beans

Before every marathon or large race there is a bit expo where companies come hand out free samples. Of course last weekend my aunt and I grabbed several of everything they were dishing out. On my search for gum this afternoon I came across these Instant Energy Beans, chewable and flavored Double Mocha Gourmet. Its been kind of a downer day so I didn't hesitate to pop these mysterious pills into my mouth. Hopefully I will have a better update for you later. 5 minutes into my experiment I'm feeling nauseated and am brushing my teeth to get rid of the most disgusting chalky fake mocha taste that is stuck in all my teeth. good thinking Melissa.

self destruction

ever known anyone who hurts themselves? not usually physically and nothing obvious or ordinary that could be publicly noted. but deep inside his/her decisions, his/her thoughts and lifestyles, its there: self destruction.

i see this every day in the life of someone i love. and almost everyday it eats part of me up. self denial and pointing the blame elsewhere are defense mechanisms used in defense of his/herself but i know the truth. ive seen the cycles enough to know whats coming next. its only a matter of time.

greatest friends

for some reason or another I have been thinking a lot lately about the only time I've loved with all i had and got my heart broken. the famous saying "better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" floats in and out of my mind. my opinion: in a lifetime, yes. make a habit of it, no.

thankfully this time in my life over two years ago now has been used to shape me into the person i am today. just this afternoon, again pondering this topic, for this first time my amazing friends stuck out more than anything.

after my hysterical reaction to the break-up, my greatest friends were merely an arms length away. the day following a couple friends drove all the way to iowa city from ames to spend a couple hours, either later that night or that weekend my roommates set up a special time for affirmation, spa treatment, and cake & wine (not a recommended combination). it seems crazy to me that i lost my best friend in a matter of minutes but that all along i had several best friends waiting for me.

not only does this bring to my heart a feeling of extreme gratitude but also a desire to be that kind of friend. i want so badly to love wholly and selflessly again instead of protecting myself with a wall between myself and the rest of the world.

i have no idea where to begin but i am willing to try.

to my fellow runners

This past weekend my aunt and I ran the San Francisco half marathon. My only thoughts/feelings when crossing the finish line were of relief that we were done and not just halfway done. I can distinctly remember my first marathon almost 4 years ago now, hitting mile 15 and thinking it was the absolutely most miserable moment in my life. "Someone could not pay me enough to do this again, this is completely horrible." Of course it was only a few weeks later that I was discussing what marathon I wanted to be in the following year!

Here I am again, I've forked over the money and signed the next two months of my life away. Marathon 3 will be here October 17th in Kansas City. Somebody please stop the insanity!

car problems

For my entire driving career (and even before) I've been followed by car problems. Silly things like my mirror getting knocked off, $9000 damage fender bender, my window falling out, smoke coming from the hood, stranded on interstates where I meet one-legged people and their family (now on their Christmas card list), ticket from an aircraft while driving a loaner car, flat tire with a "security" screw that the previous owner forgot to leave me the wrench for, and the list could go on. Did I mention my Jetta Baby has been towed 9 times?! Yes, we've had a rough 5 years together.

Most recently, two entirely new vehicles have gotten the opportunity to experience my mad driving skills...in LA traffic - watch out. There have been many close calls, as there have been with 99% of LA traffic drivers but up until last Tuesday I have been ticket and accident free. Playing tour guide for the week to my sister and cousins upped my driving hours. One fateful morning, on the beginning of our Hollywood tour, it happened.

I brought the car to a screeching hault a little too late "love tapping" the gentlemen in a small truck in front of me. To my luck the right side of the highway is lined with cop cars preparing for road construction. Immediately I am freaked out. My leg is uncontrollable with thumping and contributing to my driving issues, my hand is shaking and my mouth is sputtering words I don't even remember.

The other three girls in the car add their comments and perspectives of the experience. To my great joy, at at this point the highlight of my summer, the man in the truck in front of me starts to drive. I'm waiting for him to float off on the left side of the road but he doesn't. He just keeps going. Through the shaking, I am now holding back tears of joy for this man and his grace.

Of course this has been added to the car incidents chalk-up but the effects have been minimal. Besides, its all part of the LA experience, right?

victim: license plate

million dollars

you know the phrase "I feel like a million dollars"? whoever first said this phrase was a genius. most women feel this way when they achieve something extraordinary, are dressed in their best ready for a date, or receive an unexpected act of chivalry.

me, i am a little easier to please (not that this is necessarily a good thing). earlier this week i shimmied my way into my aunt's wetsuit. this thing was TIGHT. i was hot in the 90 degrees + sun before i put on this thick, tight, black suit on - then the sweat started coming - but i didn't care.

as my sister yanked up on the back zipper and my suit was pulled into place, a wickedly cheesy smile was permanently plastered on my face. my self confidence reached new levels of vanity as i shoved my camera into my sisters hands and told her to "take tons of pictures". i grabbed the boogy board and hit some poses before doing the baywatch run into the once-freezing ocean. over and over again i rode the boogy board out from the waves up to my sisters feet on the shore, constantly smiling for the pictures i was expecting her to take.

this 1.5 hours was easily my favorite of the week. once we were done with the photoshoot my sister and my cousins joined me in the water. we caught waves, nose dived into sand, and drank lots of salt water. it was awesome.

funday wednesdays

one of Sydney and i's recent inventions - Funday Wednesday. on this very special day each week, Sydney gets full control of my toenails and vice verse.


if only these pictures showed the intense concentration and creativity that goes into each and every toe :)

weekend of excitement

Its been a while! Last weekend my brother came to stay for a few days. He flew in on a Thursday night but on our way to the airport the four of us stopped by a circus. My cousin and I actually "won" "free" tickets at the library! Just a couple days before, my uncle had turned down 4 free tickets at work with hopes of avoiding the circus, sorry Randy. The irony of the situation was that when we showed up to go to will call to get our tickets, the line was hundreds of people long! Within about 15 minutes of our probably several hour wait, the circus for tonight was sold out. Sydney was bummed but my uncle worked his magic and we ended up sitting 9th row center without paying a cent.




Needless to say, the circus was awesome.

Adventures with Nate began Friday morning with a sweet hike. We ended up going 8ish miles through the Santa Monica Mountian Range. I absolutely LOVE hiking and it offers ample time to catch up with friends/family :)



yup, thats the ocean in the background :)

Back at the house we freshened up, I applied for a job, and we headed off to the Getty museum. Of course the 16 mile trip couldn't take 15 minutes, it had to take 45 but its all part of the LA experience! The Getty is a really neat aritecherated (this isn't a real word) building but it has no famous pieces of art to offer. Neither Nate or I recognized any artist names.

Of course no trip to LA would be complete without a picture with the Hollywood sign and visiting the Walk of the Stars. Both were a lot of fun. MJ's star was still crowded with people crying and bringing flowers to show their respects. Finally, around 8:30 we headed to the Hollywood Bowl for an Ultimate Mancini concert. I was greatly mistaken thinking I would get to see this Ultimate Mancini, apparently he has passed away. Oops. Honest mistake. The concert was AWESOME!!

Saturday we went on another incredible hike, then headed to the Santa Monica beach to fry up some Nate. It worked! I haven't seen someone so burnt in quite some time. I managed to squeeze in a long run and by the end of the day Nate and I were quite the awkward walking pair - him with his sun burns and me with my run burns. After a dinner and quick stroll through the promenade we headed south to Carlsbad, just north of San Diego. Earlier that day we had booked us a 2-star hotel :)

Early Sunday morning I babysat for some kids while their parents did a triathlon. The kids were awesome and Carlbad is incredible - they serve coffee on Main Street at 6AM - can't beat that! Of course we had to make a dash for the airport just after the triathlon and didn't get a chance to do much sightseeing but it completed the weekend in the perfect way. It was SO nice to hang-out with my brother. He got to see a lot while he was here and I had a blast showing him around!

going home

in 7 hours i will be heading out the door to head back to Iowa. i am absolutely loving california and have only been gone for a couple months, but since the ticket to go home for the 4th has been purchased it has been hard to contain myself. i feel giggly and giddy, its almost ridiculous. last night i couldnt sleep for the life of me...lucky for me i am exhausted from my sleepless night and i dont think it will be a repeating problem.

claims as a student

To someone on the outside looking in, where I spend my money makes absolutely no sense. I chose to be stingy on ridiculous things like: i don't chew gum...can't afford the $2.00 a week, i always leave my meter empty or only put a few minutes in..i will take my chances (until I moved to California and have earned two tickets at $48 & $60, i pick up pennies and use them, even when starving i wait to get home to make my lunch for free, instead of buying tickets to a concert i am completely content trying to hear from the parking lot for free, i will walk for miles before paying for public transportation, i will go to matinee movies alone to avoid paying the extra buck for the night show, i would pierce my own ears before paying for someone else to, dye my own hair before paying for professional highlights, and the latest...i will claim to be a student to save $10 on an airline ticket.

This past week that last one has gotten me into a little trouble. Of course the website made it very clear that you HAD TO BE A STUDENT to use the sight, I assumed my student ID and hawkeye t-shirt would suffice as proof. Within 2 hours of buying the ticket I had several emails and had received a phone call from Student Universe! Apparently the university didn't claim me as one of their own and now I am under investigation for fraud :) Oops. No worries, I won't press charges against myself but I think I will lose my flight back from New York next fall. I guess this silly ID will only get me so far!

book skimming

Another confession. I've been doing a lot of reading since being out in California, I think my count is up to 14 novels! But the truth must be told. At the end of most books, maybe 73.4%, I speed read. Except it isn't exactly speed reading because I tend to skip words, sentences, sometimes even paragraphs at a time. This doesn't just happen to the longest books, no matter the length authors are only able to keep my attention until the last 1/10 of the book. I'm just finishing "The Beach House" and am hitting that crucial, climax part in the book where I start reading half the words :)

marathong

confession. whenever i go to type the word "marathon" i type "marathong". Sometimes its researching different running programs, maybe writing a note to a friend challenging them to a race, possibly describing a past experience - it doesn't matter. Every single time its m-a-r-a-t-h-o-n-g-(delete key).

extremist

my thoughts are continuing. another attribute that i have is being extreme.

some examples:

each week i run 30 miles....or none
each day i consume 1300 calories...or 3000
each week i read 2 full chapter books....or not a word of one
i will make 30 entries in a month in a blog....after going 4 months with a single entry
some days i spend hours upon hours on a computer....then i will go days without
im either training for a marathon or not working out
you'll find me exploring all borders and multiple countries...or within 100 miles of the hospital i was born in
some nights i will survive off of 3 hours- maybe even 4 nights in a row...then i will go an entire month getting more than 8 hours each night

looking back over the list, i dont think it does me justice. i binge, on everything. routine makes me feel nauseated but at the same time i desire nothing more.

mercy

for some reason or another, ive had ample time to look at myself these past couple months. what kind of person am i? how have i changed in the past year? lots of self-examination.

one thing for sure, i have become a mercy shower. growing up in a Christian home taught me right and wrong and though it engraved loving others into my head as well, somewhere between the lines i learned to judge. not outwardly where it was obvious - this is sin. but instead i judged internally. when meeting someone who lived a lifesytle different from my own i kept a safe distance, smiled, and moved on.

things are different now. i see people caught up in all sorts of trouble and my heart aches for them. i love engaging in conversation and being a friend different from one they have ever had. before too long, it feels more natural to spend time with people who have never attended a church, prayed a prayer, or been loved unconditionally. mercy showing.

tribute to my father

Being hundreds of miles away from my family, I wasn't able to see my dad today but we chatted it up over the phone. He later called me up to thank me for the "high pressure water blower" that we all chipped in and got him. His thanks continued by listing all of the exciting things he can use it for "the house at the lake could really use this on the deck, it will be put to lots of good use when I clean our driveways, of course Bock Property Management will have to borrow it from time to time, and the suburban really needs a wash - that will probably be the first thing I use it for!" He seems genuinely full of gratitude.

At some point during his list of uses for his gift, my heart felt incredibly touched. I quickly got off the phone as to not give away what I was feeling. A mixture of sadness, thankfulness, and feeling moved to do something about it.

I know there are a lot of great dads out there, sorry that none of them compare to mine (only kidding, kind of). My dad is the hardest worker I know. He has not had an easy life but I have yet to hear him complain. He has devoted his life to loving the Lord and has given his life for his family, for them only to take advantage of and deceive him. What kind of daughter am I? If he only knew how much I love him and how, now being so far away, I see what he does.

My fingers are crossed that he will make it out here this summer. How I would love to set up an agenda that he would love, all (or most) expenses included. No planning or work required on his part. After taking some time to think about how I've been blessed, I feel challenged. I can only hope, dream my life will be as powerful in the lives of others.

acting debut

This past weekend we took a family trip to Disneyland for Sydney's birthday. My Aunt claimed me as your 17 year old child to save 10 bucks on a hotel room. Sadly it was very easy to pull off since all summer I have been mistaken for a teenage babysitter.

"Are you going into your senior year? Do you know where you are going to go to college?"

"I've already got a degree, thank you."

Anyway, I played the role pretty well. As you can tell I'm not bitter at all - most women want to look younger - I've already got it covered :)

water balloons

Every Wednesday and Friday I spend a couple hours watching two 2 1/2 year old twins. Fridays are particularly easy because after a quick lunch its already nap time and time for me to catch up on my latest novel or tv show. This past Wednesday was particularly funny. I have been recovering from an awful cold and had to this point spent the entire day napping. The kid's mom rattled off some instructions and suggestions of what to do - one of them being water balloons. The voice in my head is saying, "Ok lady, if you think I'm going to run around and get water thrown at me for the next two hours you are wrong, don't push it." Of course as she left towards the safety of her car the kids in unision begin repeating "water balloons!!"

Alright, alright, I'm a big pushover. We head to the backyard, I fill two balloons dreading the fate that was awaiting me. I give one balloon to each kid and pull my body into a stiff restraint. Bring it on. To my suprise, the kids run over the grass, drop their balloons, and yell, "pop!" I couldn't believe it! Instant relief. I can do this for two hours with a smile on my face!

Just as I am begining to enjoy being dry, I lose focus and drop a balloon as I'm attempting to tie it into a knot. The opening turns into a sprinkler aimed up my pants. Within 10 seconds my shorts are drenched, my shirt is wet, and my face is dripping. The twins run over and point, "Wet!" the repeat...again and again and again, rubbing it in.

I could only laugh as I had done this to myself. I stood awkwardly and uncomfortabley for the next 90 minutes while drying out but life goes on. Next time I put amunition in the hands of children, I will know that it will most likely only be used as amminution by myself.

technology

yesterday I got to experience technology - probably some parts of technology that I should have experienced a long time ago.

first, my bestie and I got to ichat. one second we are on the phone, the next her face is a mere 12 inches from mine with live feed of her mouth moving to her words. unfortunately my extreme handicap when it comes to technological advances turned the 1 minute process of setting up an account into a 10 minute one. within 30 seconds of setting up my username and password i go to sign in....wrong password. shoot! i try my other "full time" password....wrong password. you are kidding me! what in the world?! unfortunately the mystery will never be solved, i had to go back and set up an entirely new account. i guess the 30 sec between creating the password and using the password is technology's greatest weakness...or is it my own.

well, chatting face-to-face with my friend made my spirits soar. i climb into the lil corolla for a 2.5-3 hour drive. already a little bored and distracted i start shoving my hand into the counsel to see what kind of entertainment i can find. i usually bring a notebook to make lists, while driving - bad idea. i yank out a variety of cords, unraveling them while i drive down the 5 way highway using my knees. earpieces! i assumed they would be way to complicated to set up but why not give it a try? i plug one end into the only hole i can find in my phone and shove the other end into my ear. (take note: talking on the phone while driving in Cali is illegal without a n ear piece). i dial a fellow verizon friend (also take note: i have 6 minutes left for the next 8 days, shoot), to my surpise, i hear it ringing! when he answers i reply by yelling, "can you hear me? im using an earpiece! wow, i can hear you!" yeah, i can definitely hear you! is the reply i hear. awesome. at the conclusion of my drive i had no voice from yelling with my earpiece but it was the grandest of things.

today i love technology. tomorrow i will have to take another poll.

the brink of discovery

last night i went on a hike revisiting a trial i had been one time before. its about a 1.3 mile walk to the trailhead, then an option of going left or right. i go left atleast once or twice a week on a run but the right has always been far too intimidating to me. last week i was feeling ambitious and went left.

first there is a long stretch of uphill, rocky path. i made it almost halfway up before my legs began shaking. being the stubborn person that I am i walked back to the bottom to try again. i did a few pointless stretches, found a good song on the ipod and started up again. sadly i made it less the second time!

feeling defeated i climbed up the rest of the hill at a walking pace. to my suprise, as soon as i reached the top of the hill the land opened up into a beautiful plain


it was absolutely beautiful! after taking a minute to take it all in i continued down the trail that was growing more discrete, a trail less traveled.

i should give you all a little background information here. towards the begining of my move out here i went on a couple runs with my aunt. for some reason she always carried her keys with her on our runs. the same day we saw a coyote and a rattlesnake she informed me of her fear of mountian lions...it must have been contagious.

so, i continue on my trek into the unknown. soon i come up on a rockier terrain again and cant stop thinking that it is probably the perfect environment for mountain lions. basing my knowledge off of the Parent Trap movie, i began to clap my hands and yell for lions (with the intention of scaring them away). my creativity brings me to yell things like -Mr. Mountain Lion, I am coming! I dont want you to eat me! I'm clapping so I don't scare you! Maybe you could just run away so I can still see you but don't attack me?! Hear me Mr Mountain Lion?!- ridiculous, I know.

i come around another bend, still yelling and clapping and slightly out of breath, when i decide to turn around. the plains i had just passed had opened up into a beautiful lake! i was taken so off-gaurd that it took my breath away - really. the lake looked untouched. of all my travels i dont think ive seen anything so beautiful in my life.




at this point i took out the i-pod. after a few moments of awe i continued on my way. yes, i continued to yell and clap. the hike became significantly more difficult as the path continued to disappear and the number of large rocks continued to grow. the next small opening i came to offered a view of the peak. i gave most of my attention to the growing view of the lake beneath me and took a minute to overlook the valley behind me where life rushed on as always. i stand a yell for the mountian lion for a minute before i continue into the rocks, then take one last glance at the peak.

there, almost blending into the rocks, was a man sitting with his head in his hands. he was most likely praying or deep in thought, but part of me thinks he was just hoping this crazy screaming girl would shut up and turn around. thats exactly what i did! i was so embarassed! i didn't even yell for the mountain on the way down but instead picked up the pace and booked it out of there. to continue the embarassment i wiped out gashing up my knee and my ankle. relief hit me as i made it back to the head of the trail remaining anonymous and still alive with all my parts intact.

i know this is getting long but please bear with me. last night i returned to that trail. cleverly i sang to the songs in my ipod to scare off any large cats instead of yelling to them :) the same sense of awe struck me as i hit the same points in the trail but this time i made it to the top. i sat up there a while. to my left were undeveloped green hills as far as i could see, to my right was one of the largest cities in the US.



sitting on the ledge i felt so incredibly small. i wonder how anyone can sit in the presence of such beauty and not believe in a an higher power. my heart ached for all things going on in the city off to my right, for all those people who choose not to see this, or are never told that its here.

Tan Lines Be-Gone

This past week I got the itch to start a blog, after deciding to start a blog I decided I'd better start living a life worthy of blogging. Here it is.

For those of you who don't know, I am currently living out in LA. This morning I took off for a run in the coolness of the clouds but was soon being smothered under the hot sun. Lucky for me, we have a pool. Today I took full advantage of it.

I've had some skinny dipping/swimming in broad daylight and taking off my swimsuit in dirty lake water experiences but today I decided to go a step further. I had the house to myself for the early afternoon, so I figured, why wear the swimsuit? Yes. I went for a dip and laid out. Completely Naked. My uncle had let me know that the pool man would be coming sometime throughout the afternoon...I took my chances.

Here I sit, hours later, putting aloe vera on my bottom cheeks and wearing a loose fitting shirt with a built in bra. Feel the burn, literally.

The two hours of excitement was totally worth it.